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So Worth Loving


It was all my fault.

I had come to the conclusion that if I had done ”X” and said “Y” he would have never broken up with me. Little did I think about the fact that he told me I was still amazing and he cared a lot about me meant anything. Nope, the only thing I could think of was that we weren’t “us” anymore.
I couldn’t stop thinking about how every word, every text, every kiss, every heartfelt embrace was a lie and it was my fault. I was not good enough. No matter what others said, no matter how many times I played it over and over again in my head I couldn’t get out the fact that it took 28 years of my life for someone to step up and be with me, but now, now he didn’t want me anymore.
It’s devastating to have someone break up with you. I will never ever play that moment down. And sadly, even when it really isn’t you, it’s the other person; there are forces around you, within you that will play with your heart and mind and convince you that you are not enough, even when it was the best decision; at least at the time.
It took a lot of months and I still struggle with it, that feeling of unworthiness. I joked around with my best friend a few weeks ago about a guy that I thought was really attractive and whom I thought would be interesting to get to know better. After being all girly for a couple emails I got really honest and told her that actually, I hope he turns out to be a jerk, because if he’s a jerk I don’t have to put myself out there again and trust someone with my heart.
All relationships are different and they all end for different reasons. However, the ones that last, the really good ones, they all last for the same reason. They last because both people not only realize that the other person is so worth loving, that no matter what, you choose to be with that person, through good or bad, personality differences or bad habits, but also because you realize that you are SO WORTH LOVING.

It’s going to take time. 

For some it may mean not watching romantic comedies, or not spending hours pinning love quotes on Pinterest. It might mean blocking yourself from ANYTHING that has to do with the person who broke your heart. For others it might mean a night or many nights out with the guys doing things that this girl can’t imagine because, well I’m a girl and my way of dealing is different. It might be that you go to the gym, work out more, take better care of yourself and put some work into you.
All I will say is that at some point you’re going to need to forget the person who once valued you. And I promise you, they valued you. The words were not a lie. The kisses and warm embraces were because they desired you. All the plans were meant for you. Something just happened. They might not be ready, you might not be the girl or guy who will be the best in their lives…I don’t know. Just remember that it will get better. It will stop hurting but you need to choose, just like you chose to love them you now need to choose to love yourself and know the value that is inherent in you, as a human, a valued life.
And then, one day…you’ll meet the person who not only understands your value but knows that through the trials of life, the changes in season, the celebrations, the tears, fears and even the piles of laundry you will have to do, that you are worth being cherished…and they will be so grateful because you know you are so worth loving.
And frankly, man or woman…the most attractive quality in a person is someone who understands who they are. 
 
-Michelle High-res

It was all my fault.

I had come to the conclusion that if I had done ”X” and said “Y” he would have never broken up with me. Little did I think about the fact that he told me I was still amazing and he cared a lot about me meant anything. Nope, the only thing I could think of was that we weren’t “us” anymore.

I couldn’t stop thinking about how every word, every text, every kiss, every heartfelt embrace was a lie and it was my fault. I was not good enough. No matter what others said, no matter how many times I played it over and over again in my head I couldn’t get out the fact that it took 28 years of my life for someone to step up and be with me, but now, now he didn’t want me anymore.

It’s devastating to have someone break up with you. I will never ever play that moment down. And sadly, even when it really isn’t you, it’s the other person; there are forces around you, within you that will play with your heart and mind and convince you that you are not enough, even when it was the best decision; at least at the time.

It took a lot of months and I still struggle with it, that feeling of unworthiness. I joked around with my best friend a few weeks ago about a guy that I thought was really attractive and whom I thought would be interesting to get to know better. After being all girly for a couple emails I got really honest and told her that actually, I hope he turns out to be a jerk, because if he’s a jerk I don’t have to put myself out there again and trust someone with my heart.

All relationships are different and they all end for different reasons. However, the ones that last, the really good ones, they all last for the same reason. They last because both people not only realize that the other person is so worth loving, that no matter what, you choose to be with that person, through good or bad, personality differences or bad habits, but also because you realize that you are SO WORTH LOVING.

It’s going to take time.

For some it may mean not watching romantic comedies, or not spending hours pinning love quotes on Pinterest. It might mean blocking yourself from ANYTHING that has to do with the person who broke your heart. For others it might mean a night or many nights out with the guys doing things that this girl can’t imagine because, well I’m a girl and my way of dealing is different. It might be that you go to the gym, work out more, take better care of yourself and put some work into you.

All I will say is that at some point you’re going to need to forget the person who once valued you. And I promise you, they valued you. The words were not a lie. The kisses and warm embraces were because they desired you. All the plans were meant for you. Something just happened. They might not be ready, you might not be the girl or guy who will be the best in their lives…I don’t know. Just remember that it will get better. It will stop hurting but you need to choose, just like you chose to love them you now need to choose to love yourself and know the value that is inherent in you, as a human, a valued life.

And then, one day…you’ll meet the person who not only understands your value but knows that through the trials of life, the changes in season, the celebrations, the tears, fears and even the piles of laundry you will have to do, that you are worth being cherished…and they will be so grateful because you know you are so worth loving.

And frankly, man or woman…the most attractive quality in a person is someone who understands who they are. 

 

-Michelle

It took me 28 years to fall in love. It was quick, it was deep and I thought it was forever. When 4 months later my ex broke up with me it was less his decision to end it that hurt me and more my future and my heart disappearing and the fact that I had no clue he felt that way. 10 weeks later it still burns some days…

Break ups, whether for the best or a result of fear, immaturity or simply moving to fast, are never easy. You chose each other, believing that the other was so worth loving and yet it has ended. You need to pick yourself up and start looking forward…personally, I made three decisions… 

First, I made the decision to refuse to regret my relationship. It was good, I was loved and adored and everything that was said and promised during my relationship was true. I had no reason to regret. Don’t look back, replay your entire relationship and get yourself sick over it. Try to get to the place where you can “remember in peace.” 

Second, I made the decision I would not speak badly of my ex. Nothing I said would bring him back, good or bad. I am only accountable for the actions I take and I want to look back on life knowing I did my best to value everyone in my life. We need to respect each other. 

Last, I decided I would look forward to the future knowing that I was loved, I am loved and would be loved again. It’s not easy, and it’s something I remind myself of daily but even if I don’t know the future I know that life only gets better. I learned to love and to be loved. That is valuable. 

But in the meantime, in the midst of the pain that envelopes your body, the lonely days, the sad nights, remember that YOU are loved. Someone out there thought you were worth pursuing and someone else will again. 

One of the best pieces of advice I got was distract yourself…here are few things I recommend: 

1) Pamper, Pamper, Pamper! Get a manicure and a pedicure. If you can afford it, go get it done professionally. If not, find a bunch of friends and pamper each other.

2) Change it up a bit! Get a new hair do. Whether you dye your hair bright red or just get a hair trim…sometimes getting compliments about your new look is a great confidence boost! 

3) Take a trip. I’m blessed enough to live in Europe and have the means to travel. I went to Paris, Stockholm and NYC…maybe you could go camping, backpacking through Europe or on a missions trip. 

4) Do something for someone else, every day…even if it’s simply a nice note. Take your mind off your past and do something fun!

5) Grab a journal, a good pen and find a fabulous cafe. Stop, breathe in and then write down your dreams, goals and aspirations. Start planning your future. 

Most importantly, remember you need to heal. It may takes days, weeks or months but let yourself heal. Some days you will feel incredible. Other days you’ll want to hide in your bed. Please remember that you are so worth loving. Your value is not in who you are dating or married to. Your value is in the incredible person you were created to be. Your purpose is your own and no decision that someone else makes can alter your destiny. 

Post by Michelle

It took me 28 years to fall in love. It was quick, it was deep and I thought it was forever. When 4 months later my ex broke up with me it was less his decision to end it that hurt me and more my future and my heart disappearing and the fact that I had no clue he felt that way. 10 weeks later it still burns some days…

Break ups, whether for the best or a result of fear, immaturity or simply moving to fast, are never easy. You chose each other, believing that the other was so worth loving and yet it has ended. You need to pick yourself up and start looking forward…personally, I made three decisions…

First, I made the decision to refuse to regret my relationship. It was good, I was loved and adored and everything that was said and promised during my relationship was true. I had no reason to regret. Don’t look back, replay your entire relationship and get yourself sick over it. Try to get to the place where you can “remember in peace.”

Second, I made the decision I would not speak badly of my ex. Nothing I said would bring him back, good or bad. I am only accountable for the actions I take and I want to look back on life knowing I did my best to value everyone in my life. We need to respect each other.

Last, I decided I would look forward to the future knowing that I was loved, I am loved and would be loved again. It’s not easy, and it’s something I remind myself of daily but even if I don’t know the future I know that life only gets better. I learned to love and to be loved. That is valuable.

But in the meantime, in the midst of the pain that envelopes your body, the lonely days, the sad nights, remember that YOU are loved. Someone out there thought you were worth pursuing and someone else will again.

One of the best pieces of advice I got was distract yourself…here are few things I recommend:

1) Pamper, Pamper, Pamper! Get a manicure and a pedicure. If you can afford it, go get it done professionally. If not, find a bunch of friends and pamper each other.

2) Change it up a bit! Get a new hair do. Whether you dye your hair bright red or just get a hair trim…sometimes getting compliments about your new look is a great confidence boost!

3) Take a trip. I’m blessed enough to live in Europe and have the means to travel. I went to Paris, Stockholm and NYC…maybe you could go camping, backpacking through Europe or on a missions trip.

4) Do something for someone else, every day…even if it’s simply a nice note. Take your mind off your past and do something fun!

5) Grab a journal, a good pen and find a fabulous cafe. Stop, breathe in and then write down your dreams, goals and aspirations. Start planning your future.

Most importantly, remember you need to heal. It may takes days, weeks or months but let yourself heal. Some days you will feel incredible. Other days you’ll want to hide in your bed. Please remember that you are so worth loving. Your value is not in who you are dating or married to. Your value is in the incredible person you were created to be. Your purpose is your own and no decision that someone else makes can alter your destiny.

Post by Michelle

POST BY MARIE MARTINIDES___
Ever been hurt by a guy?
If you said no, you’ve probably never talked to one…. haha.The point is, almost every girl has had her heart broken or maybe just hurt by the opposite gender. (They’re evil!) Some girls tend to fall for the rebellious, bad boy, leather jacket, no curfew type because that’s appealing to us. I mean come on, we’ve all seen Greece…Other girls fall for the cocky player/ I think I’m too cool for school/ I can get any girl I want type. Guys that fall under either one of those types usually don’t mean well. Guys like that are manipulative and will say whatever you want to hear.
So why am I writing this? Why am I venting about bad guys? I want to encourage you when you read this - to not give up hope when it comes to finding a good guy. Good guys still exist and it just takes some time in searching. It’s okay to be picky and stick to your standards. 
A good guy will want to pursue you.
A good guy will not try to “complete you”
A good guy will make sure he won’t hurt you.
A good guy will encourage you to hang out with your friends
A good guys words will follow through with his actions.
A good guy is a guy of integrity.
 A good guy won’t have expectations. 
A good guy will date you because he likes who you are and not try to change you into something your not. 
Good guys cause less tears and more smiling. In the end, good guys always win! 
Follow Marie on twitter: @Murray3994
and on tumblr: heycallmerere.tumblr.com High-res

POST BY MARIE MARTINIDES___

Ever been hurt by a guy?

If you said no, you’ve probably never talked to one…. haha.
The point is, almost every girl has had her heart broken or maybe just hurt by the opposite gender. (They’re evil!) Some girls tend to fall for the rebellious, bad boy, leather jacket, no curfew type because that’s appealing to us. I mean come on, we’ve all seen Greece…Other girls fall for the cocky player/ I think I’m too cool for school/ I can get any girl I want type. Guys that fall under either one of those types usually don’t mean well. Guys like that are manipulative and will say whatever you want to hear.

So why am I writing this? Why am I venting about bad guys? I want to encourage you when you read this - to not give up hope when it comes to finding a good guy. Good guys still exist and it just takes some time in searching. It’s okay to be picky and stick to your standards.

A good guy will want to pursue you.

A good guy will not try to “complete you”

A good guy will make sure he won’t hurt you.

A good guy will encourage you to hang out with your friends

A good guys words will follow through with his actions.

A good guy is a guy of integrity.

A good guy won’t have expectations.

A good guy will date you because he likes who you are and not try to change you into something your not.

Good guys cause less tears and more smiling. In the end, good guys always win! 

Follow Marie on twitter: @Murray3994

and on tumblr: heycallmerere.tumblr.com