It took me 28 years to fall in love. It was quick, it was deep and I thought it was forever. When 4 months later my ex broke up with me it was less his decision to end it that hurt me and more my future and my heart disappearing and the fact that I had no clue he felt that way. 10 weeks later it still burns some days…
Break ups, whether for the best or a result of fear, immaturity or simply moving to fast, are never easy. You chose each other, believing that the other was so worth loving and yet it has ended. You need to pick yourself up and start looking forward…personally, I made three decisions…
First, I made the decision to refuse to regret my relationship. It was good, I was loved and adored and everything that was said and promised during my relationship was true. I had no reason to regret. Don’t look back, replay your entire relationship and get yourself sick over it. Try to get to the place where you can “remember in peace.”
Second, I made the decision I would not speak badly of my ex. Nothing I said would bring him back, good or bad. I am only accountable for the actions I take and I want to look back on life knowing I did my best to value everyone in my life. We need to respect each other.
Last, I decided I would look forward to the future knowing that I was loved, I am loved and would be loved again. It’s not easy, and it’s something I remind myself of daily but even if I don’t know the future I know that life only gets better. I learned to love and to be loved. That is valuable.
But in the meantime, in the midst of the pain that envelopes your body, the lonely days, the sad nights, remember that YOU are loved. Someone out there thought you were worth pursuing and someone else will again.
One of the best pieces of advice I got was distract yourself…here are few things I recommend:
1) Pamper, Pamper, Pamper! Get a manicure and a pedicure. If you can afford it, go get it done professionally. If not, find a bunch of friends and pamper each other.
2) Change it up a bit! Get a new hair do. Whether you dye your hair bright red or just get a hair trim…sometimes getting compliments about your new look is a great confidence boost!
3) Take a trip. I’m blessed enough to live in Europe and have the means to travel. I went to Paris, Stockholm and NYC…maybe you could go camping, backpacking through Europe or on a missions trip.
4) Do something for someone else, every day…even if it’s simply a nice note. Take your mind off your past and do something fun!
5) Grab a journal, a good pen and find a fabulous cafe. Stop, breathe in and then write down your dreams, goals and aspirations. Start planning your future.
Most importantly, remember you need to heal. It may takes days, weeks or months but let yourself heal. Some days you will feel incredible. Other days you’ll want to hide in your bed. Please remember that you are so worth loving. Your value is not in who you are dating or married to. Your value is in the incredible person you were created to be. Your purpose is your own and no decision that someone else makes can alter your destiny.
Post by Michelle