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The Lie Is Not True
A few nights ago, I had a horrible dream.
In the dream, I imagined that those who love me most would be disloyal to me and leave me; as with most dreams, it was a crazy mash-up of random locations and people with faces I didn’t recognize but the emotions of the dream were incredibly palpable. And when I woke up, I could not shake the feelings that followed.
Feelings like worthlessness and inadequacy. Feeling like I wasn’t good enough for those loved ones to stick around. Feeling like I had nothing to contribute to the world, in my personal life or at large. I started thinking about my life and how it seems as if it is going nowhere. I don’t feel like an awesome wife. I have a four degree I don’t use. I have a photography business that’s really slow, sometimes nonexistent. I want kids but I can’t have them because of our debt. We have debt and so I have to work. I don’t have ambitions beyond being a mom and a wife (and now perhaps a blogger and a photographer). And so the cycle continued in my mind as I went throughout my day.
Then I talked with a friend. She asked me some questions, particularly trying to get to the root of why I had such an emotional dream. And then she hit me with this: “So, would it be safe to say that you are believing a lie that you are worthless and inadequate?“
Since we were on Facebook chat, she couldn’t see this but I grinned as I read that. Only this friend would have thought to ask that question in that way- and I immediately knew she was right. Rather than listening to the “voice of Truth,” I was choosing to let a dream sway my thoughts and emotions to believe a lie. She suggested I do this: “Here’s a thought, maybe you could sit down and write out all the things that you do well. I urge you to speak truth to that lie. When you start feeling worthless and inadequate, go over that list.”
And so I wrote this: I am a smart person. I am a good photographer.
I may not always be a great wife but I have a husband who loves me unconditionally. I have family and friends who will always be there for me. I can write well. I have hits on my blog every day. I have a well paying job and my employer trusts me. I can analyze books and movies; still not sure why I have that skill but I do. I’m capable of doing a lot if only I get off my lazy butt. I have a baby to nanny while I can’t have one of my own. I have so many blessings that I can’t even begin to count them.
Do you struggle with feeling like you’re not good enough? Do you feel as if your life might be stuck? Don’t get caught in the lie. THE LIE IS NOT TRUE. And I’ll pass along my friend’s recommendation: Write out a list of things you do well, of blessings that you have. I think you’ll start to see how worthy and adequate you truly are.
Post by Kaitlin McDuffie
I text her: Today I am sad. I need encouragement. Within ten minutes I had a text telling me that there would be good days, and bad days and that I was loved and valued and that the future was bright.
I text her: He is breaking up with me. Within minutes she was over, with clothes, a toothbrush and arms to cry in.
I text her: I have a boyfriend! Within moments I got a calling screaming with excitement.
I text her: I got a promotion: Within minutes we were arranging celebrations.
I text her: He just died. Within an hour we were sitting have coffee crying together.
That all happened in the last 9 months. The good, the bad, the ugly…(and that’s not all)…through it all my friends were there to support me, to love me, to be there for me…Recently I said to a friend that I found it difficult to accept others help or sympathy, almost like it was too much. I didn’t want to believe that I was good enough to have that much love in my life.
But you know what? It’s not too much. I bet you would do anything for your friends. You would stay up with them in the middle of the night when they needed a hug and a shoulder to cry on. You would buy them cake, just because. You would celebrate the new boyfriend, job or even the simple fact you had a really good day.
You deserve the support and love of your friends because you would do the same for them. They are so.worth.loving and…You are so.worth.loving.
POST BY MICHELLE
“You don’t need anything more in your life to be someone great….”
Have you ever looked at the lives of people around you and then came back to yourself with a yucky feeling inside questioning why you don’t have what they have or how you could be at such a different place in life than them? *raises hand* I have. It’s part jealousy – part insecurity.
I have looked at my friends’ lives and compared my own life to theirs only seeing the positives in their own and the negatives in mine. I saw how far ahead some of them were in their schooling, in their careers (yes, careers, not just jobs), and life in general. I thought how did I mess everything up so much to end up where I am? ..So far from where I thought I should be and where society said I should be. I was mad at myself and comparing myself to others success only made things worse.
Are you comparing yourself to someone else or someone else’s accomplishments? If so, Stop! When we do things like that we are only hurting ourselves. I came to realize that looking at my life in such a way that could only make me wish I had more to prove of myself was pretty ridiculous. It doesn’t matter where I am in life or what I have accomplished at this point in time- None of those things make me more or less loveable and the same goes for you.
You don’t need anything more in your life to be someone great, or to be more valued, or to have a better looking life— You are already worth so much more than you can imagine. Where you’re at in life does not define your worth.
It can be so easy to fall into a place of self-hate when you compare yourself to others; don’t do that to yourself. When you stop comparing, you open up your world and yourself to a newfound freedom that gives you the magic and the beauty to just be yourself!
Love yourself where you are, for who you are.
POST BY ROSIE HANKE