"I have always struggled with my self worth, not necessarily my image, but what I was worth. I constantly wondered what others thought about me. I didn’t love myself, so I wondered how anyone else could love me. This company really helped me realize that I have to love myself in order to love others. I am so wonderfully made. Spread love to everyone."
You know, a few days ago at a wedding, a friend of mine told me I looked hot. He’s a great friend and although I know that he does not easily say things like this, I honestly can’t say that I believed him. While I said thank you; in my mind I only heard “He’s just saying that to make you feel better. Don’t believe it.”
It’s shameful to me. It’s shameful to me that there are days I hear “You’re beautiful” or “You look stunning” or “You’re so smart, you have the world in front of you,” all I hear back are whispers of “you’re not good enough”.
I wish to myself that I wouldn’t feel this way; I pray that I could honestly always believe that I was enough, that I was beautiful enough, smart enough, just enough.
However, even with everything in the world going for me…I doubt.
I doubt a lot.
I write this because I, like many of you, am on a journey. I cannot imagine that a person, like me, who was so loved all her life would struggle so much. I write this because I know that I am one day closer to the end of this journey. I write this because I know somewhere out there, someone else is crying like me.
This post is simple. You and I are worthy of feeling worthy, and until I believe that, every day (not just most days) I will write to you. I will reach out to you, oh precious one who doesn’t love the curve of her stomach, or the freckles on her cheek. To the one who does not believe they are good enough to get whatever job they want, or does not feel that they can take even one step today…I write this to you.
I write for you, for me…for all of us who are on a journey.
It’s okay to be not okay.
It’s perfectly okay to understand that this is just a moment…the tears, the pain, the emotion.
It’s okay to have days like this. It’s okay to cry.
It’s even better to take a breath, understand why you are feeling the way you are, and then move forward. It’s even better, if you’re like me, to put on music that points me to a power higher than myself and rest in that. It’s even better to put on your gear and run, run, run…it’s even better to have a bit of chocolate and then find a friend and tell them that “Today, I’m struggling”.
We’re all going to have days like this…but let them only be moments, then turn around, look in the mirror and know that these moments do not control us, we control them.
We are so worthy of knowing our worth. We are so worth loving.
Written and loved on by Michelle Plett
P.S. If you have a story to tell, don’t hesitate to submit your word-love to firstname.lastname@example.org. You honestly have no clue how many hearts are just like yours, and with that, they need just the same amount of reminders that they are not alone in their struggles.
I graduated from college one year ago. In college I had a strong sense of identity. I had a large and life-giving community of friends, I was well liked and recognized, and I walked around feeling confident and happy.
One year later, I have lost that sense of identity.
It started with graduation. I have always been a competitive person, and it gets me in trouble. When everyone was going off and finding their new awesome adventures or excelling in their new jobs, I panicked. I wanted my Post Grad Life to measure up. I wanted to be doing things others admired. So I got an amazing internship, traveled to four countries, and moved back to my college town to begin a job that fits me perfectly.
On the outside, I had nothing to complain about. Inwardly, I still found myself comparing myself to others, especially the people closest to me. I struggled to find myself and find recognition outside of the community and context of college. And the more I compared myself, the more insecure I became.
In wanting to be a leader, I struggled to put others first. In wanting to be accomplished, I struggled to celebrate the accomplishments of others. In trying to become the best version of myself, I began picking apart every single thing I did or said, terrified someone would perceive me in a way I didn’t want them to. In wanting to be so loved, my ability to love others well was crushed.
And then the guilt and self-loathing came in. I hated how obsessed I was with how much others liked me. I hated how reluctant I was to lift others up because inside I was jealous and fearful I could never measure up. I hated how much the feeling of having to be the best at everything was consuming me. I began to, without even being conscious of it, really dislike myself. All I could see was an insecure woman scrambling to assert herself, to be on top.
My story is ongoing. There is no tidy resolution yet, no big eureka moment where I decided to love myself. What I have done, though, is given myself permission to love myself.
I’m really good at beating myself up. When I act or think in a way I shouldn’t, my first response is to inwardly chastise myself and tell myself how awful I’m being. Maybe I’m being awful, but that does not mean I am an awful person. THAT is what I have to remind myself of. I have to remind myself that I am my own worst critic, that the way others perceive me is ultimately out of my hands. All that is up to me is how I perceive myself and choose to act on that perception.
Last night I went for a drive, and I thought to myself, “What four characteristics would I want to describe myself as?” I chose joyful, beautiful, wise, courageous. And I said them over and over again as I drove, talking to myself out loud (I’m really good at this) about why I am all of those things. And I will keep saying them over and over again until I believe them more than I believe the other adjectives I so often assign myself: petty, jealous, insecure, small.
Brene Brown says, “I believe owning our story and loving others through the process is the bravest thing we’ll do." This is my battle. I am joyful, beautiful, wise and courageous.
I am learning to love myself again so I can love others well.
Written and loved on by Julia Feeser
It all started freshman year when for some odd reason, I just wasn’t happy with myself. I really struggled with how I viewed myself. No one knew about it except my boyfriend at the time.
I began struggling with self harm around this time too, making everything so difficult to deal with.
To put a cherry on top of the situation, about a year went by when my boyfriend dumped me and played me back and forth for about 4 months.
I was so scared to tell my mom everything that was going on with me because I was afraid she would hate me.
I continued being with my boyfriend because I thought I “loved” him. He threatened leaving me if I didn’t tell my mom about the depression, so I told her. She told me I didn’t have anything to be “depressed” about. We both fought like crazy for about 3 more months.
She took me to see a therapist, finally. She helped us both through everything. I finally dumped my boyfriend and decided I deserved better than him. I gave myself a new start, and about 3 months later, I met my current boyfriend.
Even after the therapy, I still struggled with my self harm from time to time. Luckily, my current boyfriend had and has done nothing but help me every step of the way through this. Thanks to him for not allowing me to deal with this alone, I am four months clean.
I tell my story to show people that things do get better and you can be happy too.
Written and loved on by Anna Reid
If you or a friend would like to submit your story to show someone that they aren’t alone in their struggling, send your word-love to email@example.com.
What if your true soul mate is yourself?
Over the last few years, I’ve had a desire to be more connected with people. It’s through those connections that I’ve learned of this amazing thread of continuity that connects us all, but what happens when you cross paths with someone for a brief moment and you find yourself instantly connected?
This happened to me recently. Is this person a soul mate? I’d like to think so. I’d also like to think that I have many soul mates in this world. People who just get you, and you get them on the deepest of levels.
What if the person you need to fall in love with before anyone else, though, is you?
When you hear this you might be thinking of words like conceited, vain, narcissistic, self-absorbed, or self-centered. We’ve all encountered people like this before.
I’m talking about falling in love with yourself on a much deeper level, a soul mate level, and unconditional level.
It’s hard to get there. I certainly struggle with it, especially since the world gives us no help. But I’ll tell you something I’ve learned:
It’s very difficult for me to recognize my soul’s counterpoint without first recognizing myself, and in recognizing myself, I begin to understand what my soul seeks.
So, what do you think? Is your true soul mate yourself?
Written and loved on by Andy Ryan