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So Worth Loving

I Was Depressed and Hurting Myself

It all started freshman year when for some odd reason, I just wasn’t happy with myself. I really struggled with how I viewed myself. No one knew about it except my boyfriend at the time.

I began struggling with self harm around this time too, making everything so difficult to deal with.

To put a cherry on top of the situation, about a year went by when my boyfriend dumped me and played me back and forth for about 4 months.

I was so scared to tell my mom everything that was going on with me because I was afraid she would hate me.

I continued being with my boyfriend because I thought I “loved” him. He threatened leaving me if I didn’t tell my mom about the depression, so I told her. She told me I didn’t have anything to be “depressed” about. We both fought like crazy for about 3 more months.

She took me to see a therapist, finally. She helped us both through everything. I finally dumped my boyfriend and decided I deserved better than him. I gave myself a new start, and about 3 months later, I met my current boyfriend.

Even after the therapy, I still struggled with my self harm from time to time. Luckily, my current boyfriend had and has done nothing but help me every step of the way through this. Thanks to him for not allowing me to deal with this alone, I am four months clean.

I tell my story to show people that things do get better and you can be happy too.

Written and loved on by Anna Reid

If you or a friend would like to submit your story to show someone that they aren’t alone in their struggling, send your word-love to submissions@soworthloving.com. 

Falling In Love

What if your true soul mate is yourself?

Over the last few years, I’ve had a desire to be more connected with people. It’s through those connections that I’ve learned of this amazing thread of continuity that connects us all, but what happens when you cross paths with someone for a brief moment and you find yourself instantly connected?
This happened to me recently. Is this person a soul mate? I’d like to think so. I’d also like to think that I have many soul mates in this world. People who just get you, and you get them on the deepest of levels. 
What if the person you need to fall in love with before anyone else, though, is you? 
When you hear this you might be thinking of words like conceited, vain, narcissistic, self-absorbed, or self-centered. We’ve all encountered people like this before.
No,
I’m talking about falling in love with yourself on a much deeper level, a soul mate level, and unconditional level.
It’s hard to get there. I certainly struggle with it, especially since the world gives us no help. But I’ll tell you something I’ve learned:
It’s very difficult for me to recognize my soul’s counterpoint without first recognizing myself, and in recognizing myself, I begin to understand what my soul seeks. 
So, what do you think? Is your true soul mate yourself?
Written and loved on by Andy Ryan

I Struggled With Fitting In

I didn’t really fit in growing up. I honestly had a lot of things going against me.

  • I was home-schooled.
  • I had acne.
  • I had braces.

There was no chance of me being a cool kid. I remember wanting to fit in so desperately with my peers that I embraced becoming a chameleon. I’d just go with the flow and change who I was based on who I was with.

I didn’t know it at the time, but I wasn’t giving others or myself the chance to love me for who I was. Instead, I found that when you make yourself into the ultimate people-pleaser, you will wind up on a trail of unhappiness.

IT’S IMPOSSIBLE TO PLEASE EVERYONE! You’ll be miserable and ultimately lose yourself in the process!

Eventually, I figured that out, and was able to shift my focus from trying to make others accept me, to cherishing the family and few friends who had already accepted me for who I am. I think that’s the key.

As insecure people, we tend to just pay attention to the negatives in our lives and not focus on the positives.

Besides, who wants to fit in? Let what makes you unique shine and see what happens!

Keep those who love you close. Learn to see what they see in you, and you can give it back to them. Love you, love people.

#LoveYouLovePeople

Written and loved on by: Grant Young

 

Action Steps to Love Your Body

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“I grew up surrounded by people who hated their bodies.”

And so I was indirectly taught to hate my body, too. It wasn’t until I graduated high school that I really took it upon myself to rebuild my self-esteem. I stopped trying to change my body and learned to appreciate it the way it is. These are a few of the things I’ve done consistently that really helped me learn to enjoy and love the body I was given.

  • Get dressed in front of a mirror. Even if you don’t like what you’re seeing, you need to know what your body looks like. Being familiar with yourself is a key part of learning to love your body. I still do this everyday and it has been incredibly helpful.
  • Stop focusing on what your body isn’t and focus on what it is. Try to filter out those thoughts of “My waist isn’t small enough” or “My butt isn’t big enough,” etc. Focus on the good things, like how well proportioned you are or the lovely curve of your calves.
  • Pick one thing that you love about yourself and focus on that. Tell yourself everyday that you love your lips, ears, ankles, that little freckle on your left thumb, whatever. Then add something else to the list. If you run out of things to love, that’s okay. But keep the focus on the parts of your body that make you happy, the parts that you are proud of.
  • Don’t wear clothes you don’t feel comfortable in. This may seem really obvious obvious, but it is so important. We all have those days when certain outfits just don’t look or feel right. Even if you had planned on wearing that outfit on that day for whatever reason, just take a few minutes to change. Leaving the house in something that you’re not comfortable wearing can ruin your entire day. It’s very important to wear clothes that you feel good in.
  • Don’t compare yourself to other people. As easy as it is to compare your body to someone else’s, with the entertainment and fashion industries catapulting their perception of perfection at us from every angle, try to avoid it. No two bodies are the same. People carry weight in different ways. People have different bone structure. You will never look exactly like the models or the celebrities, mostly because a lot of them are airbrushed into oblivion or fabricated from a computer program, but more importantly because your body is so wonderfully different from theirs. And that is something to take pride in. Your body is no one’s but your own; it’s completely unique. And wouldn’t you rather be unique than look just like someone else?
  • Appreciate what your body can do and instead of focusing on how it looks. You can sing, punch, run, swim, eat, read, dance, tackle, bike, and jump because of your body. Your body is a magnificent tool that allows you to do all of your favorite things. Realizing and appreciating that is much easier than appreciating how your body looks, and it’s a great place to start in learning to love your body.

Not all of these things will work all the time. And not all of them will work for all of you. But at least give all of them a chance.

And know that this will take time. It takes patience and dedication. Boosting your self-esteem is not something that will happen within a week or two.

It took me a good two years to be completely comfortable with my body. And I still have bad days. There are still parts of my body that I am unhappy with. I still curl up under a blanket and watch Friends, trying to feel better about myself. But I am so much happier in general with my appearance because of these things. I hope they help someone else, too.

Written and loved on by Kelsey Griffin

#LOVEYOULOVEPEOPLE