A guy’s perspective..
I wonder “…if I’ve been changed in the night? Let me think. Was I the same when I got up this morning? I almost think I can remember feeling a little different. But if I’m not the same, the next question is ‘Who in the world am I?’ Ah, that’s a great puzzle!” – Alice from Alice in Wonderland
I went camping with some new friends of mine in my early 20s. As with most time spent away from city life, there was a lot of quiet time to be had, and a lot of thinking to be done. During one of those times I got to thinking about my apprehension towards my newfound friends. I’m usually not the best around new people; I usually assume that they do not like me, and then end up shutting them out, but during this time of reflection instead of just my usual doubts of how I would never measure up; another voice spoke and I distinctly heard “You are being lied to”. That short simple message made me re-think a lot of my doubts.
I realized that just because I thought a certain way about someone, did not make it the truth. Now, fast-forward a few years, and I am helping my dad with a life coaching class; he asks me some questions, and gets me thinking about my life. After a few minutes he shares this article with me. (http://bit.ly/OAw2dp)
It puts a new spin on my way of thinking. Suddenly I could name the voice of my doubts. Being able to name them allowed me to separate my own thoughts from the stream of negativity. It had not really occurred to me that all of the bad things a few people had said to me could stick with me for so long, and form a collective voice. Also by naming the doubts it gave me power over them. By realizing that I am separate from them I could form my own identity, and not base it on what Clinton had to say. It can still be a constant struggle to stay positive, but it is also a breath of fresh air to learn that all I think is not true.
Lovable with Love Handles
I am 115 pounds and I have love handles. An unlikely combination, I know, but it is the thing that has plagued me the most about my body. I find myself in the gym working tirelessly to “get rid” of them. But guess what, they laugh all the way home from the gym. I covet bodies without love handles- and it is a problem.
Recently, I was on vacation with my boyfriend’s family in Michigan. Sure enough, every day I fretted over my love handles. I had this little voice in my head saying horrible things like,
“You aren’t as skinny as you were last summer and everyone will notice.”
“Don’t take or be in any bikini pictures.”
Every time we would stop at the sand bar, I found myself annoying my boyfriend with questions like, “Does my body look like hers? What about hers?” Finally, he said, ” STOP-SHUT UP!! You are beautiful and you don’t need to compare yourself to others in order to validate that.”
He was and is right (don’t tell him that!!). I am never going to be like the models in magazines or the tiny, love handle-less girls at the sandbar. But it’s okay, because they can never be me either. It’s a waste of time and energy to focus on the things you don’t have. More importantly, you forget about the things you do have. I’ll admit, it is a struggle every day to not compare myself to someone else, but I have to remind myself- I am beautiful, strong, and worth loving- love handles and all!
picture courtesy of weheartit.com
true. ignore them. love you.
working on some “so worth loving” shirts this weekend! Send in your shirt to be done. Just email us at: firstname.lastname@example.org
We picked up our shirts today- official SWL shirts available for sale soon! Who is excited?
love the floral in this picture… love this quote even more.
So… this is what we are about! HUGE thanks to the talented Chris Fenner for helping us cast our vision! You can follow him on twitter too at: @fenner403