“The heart has its reasons which reason knows nothing of.”
– Blaise Pascal
Here’s the thing about loving ourselves, really, about loving anything or anyone: We always want there to be a reason. We always seem to be asking “why?”
Why do you love her? Because she’s beautiful/smart/kind/awesome/all I can think about.
Why do you love this? Because it’s fun/important/makes me happy/makes me feel alive.
Why do you love you?
And there is nothing wrong with the question why. It’s the fundamental question. But love and reason don’t always go together, and what I mean by that is this: love does not always need a reason. True Love rarely does. There may be a reason, but love doesn’t need one. That applies to lots of things. But most of all to the love of self, the kind of love I’ve always had a hard time cultivating, the kind SWL is all about.
When we finally come around to the idea that we are allowed to love ourselves, we tend to think of reasons. We’ll make lists of all our good qualities. And that can be good. It can be very good to have a list of things we like about ourselves, that are good, that remind us that we are good. Just like it is good to surround ourselves with people who really love us, to remind us we are loved and loveable.
But I know people loving me doesn’t always mean I love myself. In the same way, just because there are reasons to love me doesn’t mean I always do. And if you’re like me, sometimes you feel like you need a reason. A reason to believe you are so worth loving. But, here’s the thing: you don’t.
We say “I’m so worth loving because…” Because I’m smart or funny or x or y or z, and all those points may very well be good, but at the end of the day we have to be able to say “I am so worth loving.”
- The whole point of So Worth Loving is that the reason you are so worth loving is because you are.
There may be many reasons why we are worth loving, but the chief reason, the first and last, needs to be that we simply are worth loving. We are worth loving because we are worth loving. We are valuable because we have value. Not because something gives us value but because we have always been valuable. We have never not been.
Written and loved on by Douglas Humphries
Happy moments. My favorite happy moments seem a lifetime away. I sit here and look at pictures on my wall from the past four years. I see myself laughing and happy. Happy for real.
I see prom. I see performing. I see beauty. I see relationships. I see love and laughter: my most treasured memories, and then I think about now.
Now I see loneliness. I see sadness. I see idleness. I see heartbreak, judgement and bitterness. In the midst of what is supposed to be the happiest time of my life, the best four years, I am trapped behind a curtain of insecurity and self hate.
Yes. I am sad. I’m afraid, actually. Paranoid, really, and almost always. I don’t want you to think I’m saying this to make you feel bad for me. I’m not depressed. Technically. I do lead a good life. I won’t deny that. But something inside me is misplaced.
I have to wonder how these things happened. My heart has been infiltrated with the toxic ideals of everyone around me. Somehow, tragically, I have allowed the perspective of my fellow humans to shape my view of myself. This is a fatal mistake.
I don’t have the privilege to entirely cast the blame off myself in this situation. I said I have allowed outside opinions to penetrate my soul and corrupt my self worth: My self worth.
I feel as though I’m sinking. My anchor is partly everyone else, but also partly me.
Partly me. I have some hand in the force that is dragging me down into a place in which I lose track of the sunlight, the happy things and the glittery presence of all that is beautiful.
So now I have this realization. This fact, now come to the surface in this dark place in which I now reside, could be considered an easy fix. Love yourself? Okay.
No. It’s a challenge. It’s a process. It’s hard and messy and full of failure, tears and beauty. Recovery is not something which we obtain by flipping a switch and waking up on the right side of the bed.
Learning this, learning how to correct my mistake, this is something that is a work-in-progress. Right now, I’m still heading downward. I have the desire to pull myself up and out of the blackness of insecurity, but I have discovered that it is not as easy as possessing a desire.
It’s a lifestyle change; one that I ache to achieve and improve upon so i can look back one day and say,
"Hey, I did that. I used to be that, and now I’m this."
So I hope you’ll watch me and love me and probably laugh at me during this because feeling alone is a side effect of hating who you are. I’m ready to be done with that disease and the daily and numerous repercussions it entails.
I hope to one day relieve myself of it. I hope you’ll find my story encouraging and important.
So my story right now is open-ended. It’s incomplete, unfinished and kind of sad. I’m ready to burst back into my old world of sunshine, music, good coffee, big hugs and things that used to warm my soul. I’m not exactly positive on where to start or how to go about things, but I know the solution, the end product, and the method is self love.
I am so worth loving, and it’s time to make myself believe that again.
Written and loved on by Jordan Bogigian
It’s not everyday that an eighteen year old is told they will be dead within two years. Trying to absorb this information, I felt nothing. My chest was aching, but my mind was numb to this diagnosis. A cardiologist had just exposed the stage four monster that inhabited my body, Pulmonary Hypertension. I would be a lucky survivor to say I got through these next couple of years, full of pills, surgeries, and medical bills.
People think that when you are diagnosed with something terminal, that you automatically become a courageous fighter. You are graceful, forgiving, and at peace with your life. In reality, you’re lashing out at everyone, crying, and questioning if you should even be fighting for a life that you might not want to keep.
I had no idea that this physical fight would come with a mental one as well. For a long time, I tricked myself into believing that I, myself, was a disease and not worthy to keep going.
Finally, I started seeing things from my family’s point of view, and with friends’ help, I took my first steps into my own sort of mental rehabilitation of accepting my new life. Having a disease, or battling anything, is really a state of mind over matter. When you can mentally grasp it, your body will soon follow.
Four years later, I’ve found my way through my art, my writing, my book, my fans, and other patients who have supported me through horrendous times. Pulmonary Hypertension took so much of everything that what it did leave…it left for me to intensify. Four years: I beat my expiration date.
Physically and mentally fighting Pulmonary Hypertension, I figured out that despite my diseased lungs, I was worthy to live the life I wanted to.
That is what I have continued to do: live, and accept that I am so worth loving.
Written and loved on by Haley Lynn
"As a girl with once low self-esteem, I grew up believing I was doomed as the ugly girl. The freak with weird acne. The girl with not many friends. In my eyes, I had no worth. I had family that loved me, but I needed more. It was only a few years later when I realized that I am worth rubies. Over the years, God has placed positive, loving people in my life, and thanks to these people, I finally know that I am worth loving."
"I have always struggled with my self worth, not necessarily my image, but what I was worth. I constantly wondered what others thought about me. I didn’t love myself, so I wondered how anyone else could love me. This company really helped me realize that I have to love myself in order to love others. I am so wonderfully made. Spread love to everyone."
"In college, a friend gave me a card that said, ‘You are enough.’ It stung. It sounds silly, but I realized I didn’t feel that way. I was so used to being praised for how much I gave - to a degree how selfless I was. But, I didn’t feel worthy of love just for my pure presence. I’m choosing to believe that now."
- Written by a lovely and worthy heart.
This week is National Suicide Prevention Week.
We are in support of this campaign because we want to help inform and engage health professionals and the general public about suicide, prevention, and warning signs of suicide.
By drawing attention to the problem of suicide in the States, this campaign also strives to reduce the stigma surrounding the topic, as well as encourage the pursuit of mental health assistance and support people who have attempted suicide.
Our shirts, posts, pictures, and even events can speak loudly to help spread self-worth, but we feel that you can speak even louder than we ever could. So join this campaign and spread awareness.
No matter anyone’s past mistakes, career choice, or relationship status, they are so worth loving, and it might take all of us to show someone that before they decide to give up.
Help spread suicide prevention awareness, and make sure you let someone know that they matter. We can’t take losing a loved one, and the world can’t take not having their uniquely-made beauty around.
Love you love people, so we can keep them.
You know, a few days ago at a wedding, a friend of mine told me I looked hot. He’s a great friend and although I know that he does not easily say things like this, I honestly can’t say that I believed him. While I said thank you; in my mind I only heard “He’s just saying that to make you feel better. Don’t believe it.”
It’s shameful to me. It’s shameful to me that there are days I hear “You’re beautiful” or “You look stunning” or “You’re so smart, you have the world in front of you,” all I hear back are whispers of “you’re not good enough”.
I wish to myself that I wouldn’t feel this way; I pray that I could honestly always believe that I was enough, that I was beautiful enough, smart enough, just enough.
However, even with everything in the world going for me…I doubt.
I doubt a lot.
I write this because I, like many of you, am on a journey. I cannot imagine that a person, like me, who was so loved all her life would struggle so much. I write this because I know that I am one day closer to the end of this journey. I write this because I know somewhere out there, someone else is crying like me.
This post is simple. You and I are worthy of feeling worthy, and until I believe that, every day (not just most days) I will write to you. I will reach out to you, oh precious one who doesn’t love the curve of her stomach, or the freckles on her cheek. To the one who does not believe they are good enough to get whatever job they want, or does not feel that they can take even one step today…I write this to you.
I write for you, for me…for all of us who are on a journey.
It’s okay to be not okay.
It’s perfectly okay to understand that this is just a moment…the tears, the pain, the emotion.
It’s okay to have days like this. It’s okay to cry.
It’s even better to take a breath, understand why you are feeling the way you are, and then move forward. It’s even better, if you’re like me, to put on music that points me to a power higher than myself and rest in that. It’s even better to put on your gear and run, run, run…it’s even better to have a bit of chocolate and then find a friend and tell them that “Today, I’m struggling”.
We’re all going to have days like this…but let them only be moments, then turn around, look in the mirror and know that these moments do not control us, we control them.
We are so worthy of knowing our worth. We are so worth loving.
Written and loved on by Michelle Plett
P.S. If you have a story to tell, don’t hesitate to submit your word-love to firstname.lastname@example.org. You honestly have no clue how many hearts are just like yours, and with that, they need just the same amount of reminders that they are not alone in their struggles.