Five years ago I was fresh out of school, wide-eyed and ready for adventure. I was in the throes of talking with a mother in London about nannying for her children the following year. At one point it came into the conversation that my real father wasn’t around, which I was happy to disclose. That was my family situation and it was normal to me.
When I told a friend of mine this, she was shocked and said that was a bad idea. “She may think that you aren’t fit for the job if she knows you come from a broken family. You shouldn’t have told her that, she doesn’t need to know.”
I was perplexed; what did it matter? Does the fact that I come from a broken home make me less of a person or less of an employee? I assumed yes and immediately regretted opening up. I promised myself that I wouldn’t be so quick to share my background in the future and quietly hoped that I would still be considered for the job. The same way a turtle shrinks back into it’s shell, I retreated in shame for something that was entirely out of my control.
Now, years later, I can see the truth. I stand with a lot more experience, understanding and confidence. I’ve officially given up on not being open and honest about my life, because it’s possibly one of the best parts of my personality. It enables me to connect with people on a deep level. I’m not ashamed of being a loud-mouth any more.
And you know what? I am angry that I was told to hide that my father was absent. I am angry that I was made to feel that I shouldn’t share the intricate parts of my soul that define me. The fact that my father did not raise me doesn’t define me. The fact that I grew into a well-rounded woman anyway? That does define me and I’m damn proud of it, and thankful to the people in my life that made this possible.
To this day I have no problem with sharing my story. I am worth loving despite not having a father around to love me as a child, I know that now.
Hello There Sir.
I’m writing because I’m sorry.
Growing up in the 90s one of the biggest lies I have heard was that “Boys Suck”. It was plastered everywhere; on stickers, shirts and even bejewelled onto baseball caps. Ads on TV told me that men weren’t good enough and wouldn’t help with the housework. TV shows showed you as lazy, mean, abusive, disrespectful and not good enough. Society stopped building up men as leaders in the home and work and instead of equality pushed that women were better. We aren’t better, we’re just different. We complement you.
I’m sorry that many of you have had to grow up with absent fathers, lack of role models and being told from all sides that you are not good enough. You are told you suck, that you’re jerks, that you aren’t good enough and will leave your wives and children. I’m sorry that as women we were often taught to not view you as equals but as someone who we need to compete with and jump over to be accepted and succeed in life. I’m sorry that when you asked that girl out she laughed in your face because you weren’t exactly what she wanted and then complained that no one asked her out. I’m sorry that your father told you that you would never amount to anything because you didn’t want to follow the career path that he wanted you to go down. I’m sorry.
The fact is you don’t suck. All men aren’t jerks. You are worthy of respect. You can be all you can be. You can be the amazing father that your heart desires. You can be a strong leader in your household and at work. You can be the role model that children desperately need in today’s society. You can still show the world that there are honourable men out there. You can get through the freaks out when life overwhelms you, you don’t have to run because you are more than enough. You can be someone’s life-long love, someone’s first. You can be anything you want to be, because you, sir, are so worth loving.
forgive me.
just a girl.
It’s never too late… you are worthy.
Photo by our one and only Alexandria.
I am so glad that my life, my happiness and my self-confidence isn’t hinged on how I look. Beauty is a foundation that won’t last and, in the grand scheme of life, isn’t important at all.
I watch girls in my life who pour so much time and effort into their appearance, and to be honest, I hurt for them. I worry they have missed the point and that it will all come crashing down one day. Like when Kim Kardashian discovered that she had inherited her mother’s skin condition Psoriasis, she was devastated. “My whole job and life is based around how I look! What am I going to do?” she cried to her family.
Kim. K has learned to look after her skin and make-up adequately masks her imperfections, but she still wakes up every day to the pressure to be beautiful. Basically, the media and public want her to be perfect. I wouldn’t want to fill her shoes… ever! That is too much to handle.
Don’t get me wrong, I wax my legs, wear make-up and look after my hair! I try to keep fit and look after my body, because I take pride in my appearance. But I am careful not to get caught up and let vanity take the reigns. Girlfriend, when all is said and done, beauty is fleeting. We will all age and our looks will fade, then what? What’s left?
My appearance will let me down eventually. According to the media’s standards, it already has! I’m not good enough, I will never be good enough.
That’s what I could think anyway. But I refuse to, because I am good enough. In the ways that matter!
Do you know what matters? Your characters, your relationships, your choices. Focus on those and live your life to the full! Look good while doing it, but don’t ever think that the way you look is more important that who you are.
Who you are is everything.
Post by Micaela aka @MicaelaRose
photo credit
Lovable with Love Handles
I am 115 pounds and I have love handles. An unlikely combination, I know, but it is the thing that has plagued me the most about my body. I find myself in the gym working tirelessly to “get rid” of them. But guess what, they laugh all the way home from the gym. I covet bodies without love handles- and it is a problem.
Recently, I was on vacation with my boyfriend’s family in Michigan. Sure enough, every day I fretted over my love handles. I had this little voice in my head saying horrible things like,
“You aren’t as skinny as you were last summer and everyone will notice.”
“Don’t take or be in any bikini pictures.”
Every time we would stop at the sand bar, I found myself annoying my boyfriend with questions like, “Does my body look like hers? What about hers?” Finally, he said, ” STOP-SHUT UP!! You are beautiful and you don’t need to compare yourself to others in order to validate that.”
He was and is right (don’t tell him that!!). I am never going to be like the models in magazines or the tiny, love handle-less girls at the sandbar. But it’s okay, because they can never be me either. It’s a waste of time and energy to focus on the things you don’t have. More importantly, you forget about the things you do have. I’ll admit, it is a struggle every day to not compare myself to someone else, but I have to remind myself- I am beautiful, strong, and worth loving- love handles and all!
@MaggieTalbert
picture courtesy of weheartit.com
“You are the only one who can reach deep within yourself to the negatives and pull them out.”
Time to be a little serious here- don’t run away on me! Right now I really want to talk to those of you who have fallen in love with So Worth Loving and the beauty and meaning behind it but still fail to see yourself as worthy of love. You know who you are. …And I want you to know that you do not need to be left where you are sitting. There is no excuse for any ONE of us to feel unworthy of love.
The excuses are always around, but that does not mean you have to give into them- no matter how prominent and believable they are. I am one of the ones who fell in love with So Worth Loving but found the love towards myself to be lacking, even with such encouragement and love from SWL. It’s not fun to admit, but there are still days where I feel worthless and the slightest glance of my SWL shirt makes me cringe with disgust. (There better not be any of you out there doing that!) While the days of worthlessness and unworthy feelings are powerful, I know that I am not powerless against them.
There are too many opportunities around that leave us liable to question our worth. When such feelings grab hold, they can root themselves deep inside of our hearts. You can let those roots spread and take hold of any self-love you have in yourself, or you could pull the other way and fight against the grip they have on you.
The love and worth you deserve are far deeper and stronger than any negative root you hold within yourself. When you choose to fight against the excuses and negativity that hold you back from loving who you are, you are slowly killing the bad roots and overpowering them. How awesome! You can be stronger than the grip of negativity! Just don’t give up the fight.
—
So, what is it going to take for you to believe you are worthy of love? No more excuses please! You ARE worthy of love, you are so worth loving. If my hand could physically reach out to you right now I would already be helping you pull those roots out! Unfortunately, this is something you have to do for yourself. You are the only one who can reach deep within yourself to the negatives and pull them out. I know you can do it. Bring on the self-love! — Rosie
POST BY @RosieHanke
So Worth Loving.
Why wear a shirt that has “So Worth Loving” printed on the back or front of it??
1. Someone may see this reminder and have never thought about themselves as worthy of love.
2. By wearing this phrase you feel empowered. It is a reminder to you that you are worthy of love. No one can change how you view yourself except you. Know that you are worthy of love and wear this shirt boldly and proud. Your confidence will inspire others to view themselves this way too.
Need we say more?
BACK IN STOCK!!! WOOT WOOT!!
“….Because as girls, we need other women in our lives to help us along the windy road of life and to remind us that we are not only worth loving, but we are living a life of purpose!”
Meet Shannon! Her love for life even when life gets tough is one of the many reasons we adore her and the words she has to offer.
You. Me. That girl driving next to you. The boy next door. That grouchy old man that lives down the street. And the mom you see struggling in the grocery store with three kids tearing down the aisle. Every single person is… So Worth Loving.
That truth strikes to the core of who I am, and at age 26 as a wife, friend, sister and mother - I still need to hear that. I’ve spent the last 10 years of my life mentoring younger women and investing who I am into them. It’s not because I think I’m cool enough to have a say in their lives or think I have life figured out - it’s because as girls, we need other women in our lives to help us along the windy road of life and to remind us that we are not only worth loving, but we are living a life of purpose!
With that being said, (well, written) allow me to introduce myself - I’m new around here but not new to the idea or the message of this community! My name is Shannon and in a nutshell, I LOVE LIFE! I am passionate about living in the moments of everyday. About hugs, laughter, delicious food, the Mr. and Lil’ Miss. I want to enjoy today no matter where I am, what I am doing or who I am with.
My husband and I live in St. Paul, Minnesota where he is currently in Graduate School and I’m working as well as spending my days loving on my chunk-o-love 6-month old baby girl, Brooklyn. I grew up overseas and moved every 3 years of my life as an Air Force brat. My life is enriched and passions stirred by new places and experiencing different cultures, foods and hearing people’s stories. Food, good food, is a very important aspect of my life! Cooking, trying new restaurants and making good food for friends tops my favorite things list! Speaking of my favorite things - I figure an easy way for you to get to know me is to just type up a giant (ok, I’ll keep it limited!) list of things that make smile contagiously, giggle uncontrollably and make life more special to me…
I like the little things in life, notes from people, perfect fonts, sunshine-filled windows, walks by the lake, swinging, birthdays, autumn, planning and hosting a party, driving with the windows down in the spring with no where to be, going on a picnic with my family, NYC (I lived there a year in college), Nashville, sending snail mail cards, filling out forms, drinking water, seeing others smile, a good thrift store/yard sale find, DIY projects, Chai Lattes, visiting friends, exploring a new place, loving on the poor & needy, finding a delicious restaurant, long chats with close friends, curling up with a blanket on a lazy day, finding that perfect outfit in my closet, going to a meeting with a Caribou coffee/Starbucks drink in my hand (makes me feel professional!), the perfect fine point pen, horses nuzzles, Montreal, making my home feel cozy, Italy, being hyper late at night, a slice of NJ pizza, desserts, making someone else feel special with a surprise, buying that perfect gift for someone, teenagers, going to high school sports games, hugs, capturing moments in photos…. and much more!
I write over at my blog, EnjoiToday.com, and am excited to now be a part of SWL. I want you to be encouraged, motivated and know without a doubt that you are important and have been created for a purpose!
Read all about our newest writer Michelle of “Beyond Rubies” and “Living Life Beyond”
I stumbled across so worth loving this year and I have been hooked ever since. The site and vision spoke to my heart and to the passion I have for seeing people understand their value is in who they are, who they were created to be, and not what others thought of them.
It’s Eryns birthday and she wanted to share this day with her entire SWL family. That is why we are having a sale on all of our Nuts and Bolts tees! If you look closely at the shirt it says “established for you and established by you”- We believe that we all can choose whether or not we are worthy of love.
We can not control what other people say about us but we can control our response. Tell yourself you are worthy of love. Believe it. Know it.
Love yourself first and everything else falls into line. You really have to love yourself to get anything done in this world.
-Lucille Ball
POST BY MARIE MARTINIDES___
Ever been hurt by a guy?
If you said no, you’ve probably never talked to one…. haha.
The point is, almost every girl has had her heart broken or maybe just hurt by the opposite gender. (They’re evil!) Some girls tend to fall for the rebellious, bad boy, leather jacket, no curfew type because that’s appealing to us. I mean come on, we’ve all seen Greece…Other girls fall for the cocky player/ I think I’m too cool for school/ I can get any girl I want type. Guys that fall under either one of those types usually don’t mean well. Guys like that are manipulative and will say whatever you want to hear.
So why am I writing this? Why am I venting about bad guys? I want to encourage you when you read this - to not give up hope when it comes to finding a good guy. Good guys still exist and it just takes some time in searching. It’s okay to be picky and stick to your standards.
A good guy will want to pursue you.
A good guy will not try to “complete you”
A good guy will make sure he won’t hurt you.
A good guy will encourage you to hang out with your friends
A good guys words will follow through with his actions.
A good guy is a guy of integrity.
A good guy won’t have expectations.
A good guy will date you because he likes who you are and not try to change you into something your not.
Good guys cause less tears and more smiling. In the end, good guys always win! 
Follow Marie on twitter: @Murray3994
and on tumblr: heycallmerere.tumblr.com
